She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
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