Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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