I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
