I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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