i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
