Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
