so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
