Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize