Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
