she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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