Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
