when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
we're making bets on your personal life
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
