one two three fourrrrnication!
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
