Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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