just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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