He told me they were just razor bumps!
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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