..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize
