No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
