He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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