Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
