Your mouth is God's brothel.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
