I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
We just shotgunned beers for America
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
