i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
