wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
