also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
