How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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