The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
