She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
