I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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