HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
