i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
