I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
