I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
