porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Randomize
