Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
