you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
My nipple is on Facebook.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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