She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
