I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
