Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
