I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
