420 ftw
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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