I hate all girls vehemently.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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