im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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