Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You took a bar mat shot.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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