She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
