This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
