Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
