We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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