I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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