it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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