your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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