Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
