He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
