Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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