All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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