Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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