yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
