now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
