did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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