Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
