i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
