my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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