it wasn't lemon gatorade
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
