i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
