It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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