I need help removing her.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
